setting boundaries in your plastering business or in your self-employment life in general.
Have your family members or friends from the past ever took a piss
because you're a tradesperson. That's the topic of this video and this used to happen to me all the
time. Within the first few years of going self-employed once people knew that I had a van.
Once people knew that I was self-employed. Once people knew that I could plaster walls.
The piss takers started popping their heads up within the family and within my friends.
I won't say friend circle within people that know of me. So people that you grew up with
maybe in the area that you grew up with from the past.
Distant family members, second cousins, they all start popping their heads up
when they want something. They know that you're self-employed and you've got a van.
And that's what I want to speak to you about because in the last couple months I've had a
couple of people that know of me but they don't know me. I don't know them. They're not part of
my life. I don't think they'll be crying at my funeral. Let's put it like that. I don't think
these people would have my back if I were ever in trouble. Yet they're happy to drop your random
inbox when they want something. They're happy to ask for a discount on a plastering job when they
want something. They're happy to ask you to come and move a sofa on a Sunday because you've got a
van and save them hiring a van because you've got a van after all. What's the problem? It won't take
you long. This is a sort of bullshit as tradespeople have to deal with and old school spreads will
always say never work for family and friends. Not all family and friends by the way and I just want
to clear something up off the bat as well. The only people that I will happily do heavily
discounted price or work for free for is my mother, my wife's mother, or my wife's grandparents.
My grandparents unfortunately have passed. Nobody else will be getting any discounted rates or
freebies from me or maybe a very elderly lady that hasn't got much. You know those sort of
situations I'll be more than happy to either do a free job or heavily discounted price. Why? Because
it's called respect. These elderly people, these are the types that will be making you cups of tea
every hour and bringing you out sandwiches, cakes, biscuits. They'll sheet up all the job for you
before you've even got there because they're old school. They've probably spent their entire life
paying into the tax system. Yeah we worked out, this was going back some years ago, we worked
out that my mum had paid over like £380,000 in tax more than a mortgage through working from age
18 to 65. So think about that for a second that's called respect. They've pumped into our future
and our economy in our country. They've put the work in and now it's their time to
reap the benefits from society and we should do that. So if there's an elderly lady
that's in her 80s, I'm not going to be charging her full work. But anyway I'm going off topic here
guys. People will contact you as a tradesperson because they think you're soft and they think you're
going to do a discounted price because they used to drink with you when you were 19 down the town
or they used to go to school with you or they're your second cousin. And what's funny is when you
say no they think you've got an issue. They think, what's this guy's problem? I thought we were mates.
We're not mates. We used to be drinking buddies. I've not heard from you for six years and now
you're getting in touch because you've got a plastering job and you want it half price and you
think because you used to know me I'm going to do you half price or because we live in the same city
and we used to go to school together I'm going to do you a cheeky discount. Listen you wouldn't take
a pay cut for me. What do you mean? Well if I do you a discount I can only do a handful of
plastering jobs in a 12-month period. I can only do a handful of plastering jobs and I've got to
make sure that I hit my annual income every year. Self-employed that's hard. I don't know where my
next meal's coming from. I have to make sure I can hit my annual targets for my income for my family.
So if I do you a discount now you're taking food off my table because I could have done a high
profit job and booked that into the calendar but now I've booked in your shitty little job
that you want it done half price. Would you take a pay cut for me? Can you do me a favour John?
Can you come and help me dig my garden on Sunday? Oh I have to work Sundays I can't do it. Well can
you can you not go into work for a few hours and come and help me dig my garden? Well if I don't
go into work for a few hours I'll lose money. My bustle dup my wages. That's okay because you're
helping me. Oh no I'm not willing to do that. Sorry I can't take a pay cut. I can't lose money.
You know sorry about that. They wouldn't take a pay cut for you so why the f*** should you take a
pay cut to help a family member that is never in your life they never take the time to drop in
or check in on you. So anyway listen being self-employed you have to develop a fixed skin and you have to
develop boundaries and you have to become assertive and you have to get comfortable with being disliked
by people and that's okay not everyone is going to like you okay but not everybody matters to you
so it's only the people that matter that you need to get on your side your kids your wife
close family members everyone else unless you know this person has my back
this person's going to be there for me if I ever need it they're going to be there for me
unless you know that then just say no so I'm sorry I can't don't justify it
don't get into a debate don't be nasty about it just say no I'm sorry I won't be able to do that
you don't need to say it's because I'm so busy it's because you're an asshole
you don't need to say any of that you just say no I'm sorry I can't do that and it's a skill that
you'll develop as you spend more years being self-employed get comfortable with saying no
okay get comfortable with saying no to builders get comfortable with saying no to customers get
comfortable with saying no to piss taking family members and long-distance cousins and friends
from your past drinking buddies that you don't see anymore they don't even bother to give you a little
like on Facebook you know when you're posting things about your kids or whatever they can't be asked
to do that but they can be asked to get in touch asking for a discount so assertiveness confidence
setting boundaries if we don't do it guys we'll just become a yes man and we'll just be pulled
around like a puppet on a string I always use that analogy because that's what happens
um you know this is how you end up working stupid hours and working on low profit margins
because we can't say no once you set yourself some goals and some targets for the year you stand
behind your goals and everything else um is turned away everything else becomes secondary to your goals
so if they ask you to do your favor and it's going to interfere with your goals you say no
you don't need to justify it because if you can't rely on yourself and trust yourself and depend on
yourself for the goals that you set yourself who the f*** can you rely on if you can't rely on
yourself the only way you're going to move the needle and move forward in your business is if you
honor those goals and follow the strategies with discipline and with assertiveness when people try
to knock you off track knock you off course try to get you to waste your time for two three hours
doing favors in your van or they try to get you to do heavily discounted rates to plaster a ceiling
forum and then you're never going to wear from one for another five years um then just say no I'm sorry
I can't do that let me know your thoughts in the comments